It is a friend of mines birthday today, so I decided to make him a happy birthday video using the voice of Microsoft Sam =D Here it is :)
Happy Birthday Mate!!
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
My Weekend/Anxiety and video posts.
I would like to make some more video posts, but even when I have taken more than enough of my medication (diazepam) I am still pretty anxious about talking into the camera with someone from my work living in the next room and someone else living in the room across the hall. It sounds pretty stupid, I could be skyping for all they know, or one the phone. I will get over it eventually and the head will make another appearance soon.
This weekend was pretty eventful, On Friday night I had a massive argument/discussion with my drunken ex fiance and she was so evil and nasty to me that I don't know if I can ever see her face again without the anger that I have for her now being there. It is such a shame as we were having a nice chat before the switch in her head flipped and she said all of the stuff she said. I'm not going to go into it in here as it will just make me more angry, but suffice to say, all contact is being cut, I am going to give up the allotment that I have in her village that is registered to her address and am going to change GP surgeries so that I no longer have any ties to the place that she lives and never have an excuse to just "pop in" while I'm in the area.
Saturday at about noon some MXE arrived and I took only about 100mg over the course of a few hours, and then remebered that it was my works christmas party. I got dressed and ready for the party and walked there in a bit of an altered state. I didn't think it would be obvious but as soon as I walked in I was told that it was obvious that I wasn't just drunk or on my medication, so I preceded to get as drunk as possible as quick as possible to cover it up. This was probably a bad idea as I got soo drunk that I was pretty much ushered away from the party and shoved into a taxi and I got back to my place. When I got back, the swipe card to my building wasn't working, so I went to try and find some help getting in. Next thing I remember there were 3 security guys helping me get back to my room. I have absolutely no idea what time this was, I don't really have much of a memory of most of the party either.
I woke up on Sunday morning at about 4.30am and then decided that I might aswell finish the rest of the MXE so that when it was worn off I would have recovered from it in time to make it to work on monday. This wasn't a mistake, but it turned out badly. I had a great time with the MXE, or what I thought was 100% MXE. I may have watched "A Scanner Darkly" again (will be making a blog post/review of the film shortly) It turned out that the MXE was contaminated with 3-meo-pcp as it was very stimulating and lasted until at least midnight that night. I had to take quite a bit of diazepam to get myself to sleep. This resulted in my waking up late for work and feeling very very sick. I had to email in sick and then I pretty much slept for the whole day.
Woke up on Monday properly at about 3pm, then had some food and watched some Lost. I fell asleep during the second episode of Lost and was awoken again at about 7pm by the fire alarm. I really didn't want to go and stand outside with everyone else so I took the opportunity to go to the laundry room and do a couple of loads of laundry. By the time I had left the laundry room about 20 minutes after the alarm started it had stopped. I watched some more Lost while the laundry was washing and drying and then went to sleep at around 11pm.
Woke up Tuesday morning after setting two alarms just in case, showered and went to work, was told by one of the seniors that my absence level increase has been noticed by all of the seniors and management, I was genuinely guilty and sad that I had let the team down again on Monday but there was no way I was fit to work. I told the senior that things haven't been going great again and that 2012 was going to be the year that I turn it all around and start being a good worker again. I worked as hard as I could today and will continue to do so for as long as I am employed there. I have to keep my job or I will lose my accomodation and will be stuck with a lot more debt than I should have. I think I am safe for now and that the first 3 months of 2012 will be my last chance to prove myself.
No sick days at all for me in those first 3 months. They are going to be my months of improvement. I have a lot to look forward to in 2012 and a lot of goals to aim for, so I think that it is going to be my year. I'll post more about those goals in detail when I get the courage to do the video posts again.
Time for sleep now. I have work again tomorrow and don't want to be late, that is almost as bad as not turning up.
For tonight, that is my ranting over.
Peace
NLP
This weekend was pretty eventful, On Friday night I had a massive argument/discussion with my drunken ex fiance and she was so evil and nasty to me that I don't know if I can ever see her face again without the anger that I have for her now being there. It is such a shame as we were having a nice chat before the switch in her head flipped and she said all of the stuff she said. I'm not going to go into it in here as it will just make me more angry, but suffice to say, all contact is being cut, I am going to give up the allotment that I have in her village that is registered to her address and am going to change GP surgeries so that I no longer have any ties to the place that she lives and never have an excuse to just "pop in" while I'm in the area.
Saturday at about noon some MXE arrived and I took only about 100mg over the course of a few hours, and then remebered that it was my works christmas party. I got dressed and ready for the party and walked there in a bit of an altered state. I didn't think it would be obvious but as soon as I walked in I was told that it was obvious that I wasn't just drunk or on my medication, so I preceded to get as drunk as possible as quick as possible to cover it up. This was probably a bad idea as I got soo drunk that I was pretty much ushered away from the party and shoved into a taxi and I got back to my place. When I got back, the swipe card to my building wasn't working, so I went to try and find some help getting in. Next thing I remember there were 3 security guys helping me get back to my room. I have absolutely no idea what time this was, I don't really have much of a memory of most of the party either.
I woke up on Sunday morning at about 4.30am and then decided that I might aswell finish the rest of the MXE so that when it was worn off I would have recovered from it in time to make it to work on monday. This wasn't a mistake, but it turned out badly. I had a great time with the MXE, or what I thought was 100% MXE. I may have watched "A Scanner Darkly" again (will be making a blog post/review of the film shortly) It turned out that the MXE was contaminated with 3-meo-pcp as it was very stimulating and lasted until at least midnight that night. I had to take quite a bit of diazepam to get myself to sleep. This resulted in my waking up late for work and feeling very very sick. I had to email in sick and then I pretty much slept for the whole day.
Woke up on Monday properly at about 3pm, then had some food and watched some Lost. I fell asleep during the second episode of Lost and was awoken again at about 7pm by the fire alarm. I really didn't want to go and stand outside with everyone else so I took the opportunity to go to the laundry room and do a couple of loads of laundry. By the time I had left the laundry room about 20 minutes after the alarm started it had stopped. I watched some more Lost while the laundry was washing and drying and then went to sleep at around 11pm.
Woke up Tuesday morning after setting two alarms just in case, showered and went to work, was told by one of the seniors that my absence level increase has been noticed by all of the seniors and management, I was genuinely guilty and sad that I had let the team down again on Monday but there was no way I was fit to work. I told the senior that things haven't been going great again and that 2012 was going to be the year that I turn it all around and start being a good worker again. I worked as hard as I could today and will continue to do so for as long as I am employed there. I have to keep my job or I will lose my accomodation and will be stuck with a lot more debt than I should have. I think I am safe for now and that the first 3 months of 2012 will be my last chance to prove myself.
No sick days at all for me in those first 3 months. They are going to be my months of improvement. I have a lot to look forward to in 2012 and a lot of goals to aim for, so I think that it is going to be my year. I'll post more about those goals in detail when I get the courage to do the video posts again.
Time for sleep now. I have work again tomorrow and don't want to be late, that is almost as bad as not turning up.
For tonight, that is my ranting over.
Peace
NLP
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Meet The Head!!!
The Head!
This is the figure that I will be making all/most of my videos through, I will be talking through "The Head" as though the head is me. Think of me as the head, and not a real person.
Is also my first ever video created and uploaded so am sounding a bit nervous!! It felt like leaving an answerphone message! With time will come confidence, future meetings with the head will be generally longer and will cover many different topics, requests for future topics will be taken, but not necessarily covered :-p
Anyway, that was the head, I hope you liked his introduction, he hopes to come and speak again tomorrow. :)
NLP
First Real Post - No video this time though
Guess I thought I should make a post that talked about the reasons for setting up this blog.
My main reason is that I am going through some hard times in my life at the moment, most of them I brought on myself, but nonetheless, times are hard, and it seemed a good place to vent and rant and talk about some of my thoughts on life, death, recreational drugs, mental health, the government, escapism, society, nature, volunteer work, WWOOFing, geocaching, and a number of other topics that will pop up now and again.
I think posting here and making the videos can only serve to make myself feel better, if only because I have taken some of the overwhelming thoughts out of my brain and put them into print so to speak. I'm not expecting, nor do I really want an audience to my thoughts, there will be no attempt to try and make money from the blog through the monetizing options. This is just for me to talk and get it all out.
Will attempt to keep my physical identity hidden at all times during the creation and the progress of the blog and the channel to preserve some degree of anonymity if this were to ever get any subscribers.
I'm sure I'll be back again soon, hopefully with something a little more substantial to post than the first two posts here, which have only really set up the blog for when it truly becomes active. So until then....................
NLP
My main reason is that I am going through some hard times in my life at the moment, most of them I brought on myself, but nonetheless, times are hard, and it seemed a good place to vent and rant and talk about some of my thoughts on life, death, recreational drugs, mental health, the government, escapism, society, nature, volunteer work, WWOOFing, geocaching, and a number of other topics that will pop up now and again.
I think posting here and making the videos can only serve to make myself feel better, if only because I have taken some of the overwhelming thoughts out of my brain and put them into print so to speak. I'm not expecting, nor do I really want an audience to my thoughts, there will be no attempt to try and make money from the blog through the monetizing options. This is just for me to talk and get it all out.
Will attempt to keep my physical identity hidden at all times during the creation and the progress of the blog and the channel to preserve some degree of anonymity if this were to ever get any subscribers.
I'm sure I'll be back again soon, hopefully with something a little more substantial to post than the first two posts here, which have only really set up the blog for when it truly becomes active. So until then....................
NLP
Youtube Channel!
Most of my posts will be coming to you through my youtube channel, The videos will be embedded into this blog so there wont be a massive need to go to visit the channel, other than to subscribe if you feel like it, although I have told you not to listen so I don't expect to see any subscribers ;) EVER!!!!! lol
Here is the link again for those of you that didn't see it embedded in the words above
http://www.youtube.com/user/NooneListenPlease
Hope to get this show on the road properly starting tomorrow night, maybe even tonight, we shall see.
All the best NLP
Here is the link again for those of you that didn't see it embedded in the words above
http://www.youtube.com/user/NooneListenPlease
Hope to get this show on the road properly starting tomorrow night, maybe even tonight, we shall see.
All the best NLP
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